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True Friendships Are Special Gifts That Last Lifetimes

By: Jeff Wilson

     "Savor your friendships as you grow old; many are silver, but one is pure gold."

This is sage advice for those who have been fortunate enough to find that one true friendship. Or perhaps you have maintained friendships from your days in elementary school. Whatever the case, friends are previous gifts we give to ourselves.

As children, friendships are vitally important, most notably as it relates to the socialization process. Meeting a new friend the first day of school is essential, especially if one is particularly shy. Perhaps another girl would sense the shyness and offer a hand in friendship. Forming friendships with others from different cultures enhances a child's early experiences as well, and plants a seed that is healthy and which can be nurtured throughout life. But, preserving friendships are often difficult, even under the best of circumstances. Whether a friend moves away; or leaves school; or becomes ill, it is especially hard on a child. They are resilient, however, and somehow cope with the loss.

As the child becomes a teen, the word friendship takes on a different connotation. While some teens exhibit the closeness and bonding prevalent during their parents' day; others are not so conducive to this type of friendship. Instead, they form gangs which they refer to as their family, and commit acts which were unheard of twenty or thirty years ago. It makes one wonder if this type of friendship is born out of a home where caring and nurturing is non-existent. Or has peer pressure to act and dress a certain way erased all that was taught in the early years of their childhood. Girls become vicious to each other; more so than boys, and it's inconceivable that a meaningful true friendship exists in that environment.

Perhaps as we grow older, the child in us returns to the very first day we attended school. We appreciate and value the friends we've made in our adult life because they ground us; keep us balanced; watch out for us; protect us; care and help us when needed. True friendships require no expectations; they are unconditional by nature, and bring out the very best of who we are. We rely on each other for comfort; rant and rave knowing our friend will simply listen; discuss issues which we are passionate about, knowing we will be understood. Laugh together; cry together; then eat ice cream while laughing all the more. How rare is that kind of friendship? How blessed are we to have a true friend who will allow us to be who we are, without judgment. Yes, very rare indeed.

As we reach our golden years, our friends may have passed on, but the memories are still intact. We take out the old scrapbook and reminisce as we thumb through familiar pictures. Suddenly, we laugh and look to one side saying, "Remember ..." then stop. A single tear falls down our cheek. We look up and smile because the years have not taken away the recollections of our youthful days, nor has the light of true friendship been extinguished.

Emotional Affair or Friendship

By:Andy Smith

     Emotional Affair Or Friendship

In a marriage, what are the limits for friendship with a member of the opposite sex? Who sets these limits? What is the difference between a friendship and an emotional affair? Is an emotional affair wrong? Does an emotional affair help the marriage by letting a partner vent out all emotional frustration, which otherwise he/she would not have done with his/her spouse? Or does it kill the marriage?

What is an emotional affair?

Most of us have friendships. Many of us are very close in some friendships. We share quite a lot in such friendships. But when one develops such a close friendship with one from the opposite sex, it can be termed as an emotional affair. Sharing intimate emotional details with someone of opposite sex is called an emotional affair. This the the common definition. It also includes the clause that you are keeping your partner unaware about the emotional bond you share with someone else.

Does it hurt marriage?

It hurts marriage if after knowing about the details shared, the spouse feels that mutual trust was violated. If the emotional affair becomes strong, it may so happen that one may begin sharing more emotional details with one's friend than with one's spouse. That hurts the spouse and may also lead to a break-up.

Why do people have emotional affair?

It is being debated that emotional affair is purely emotional or it is begun because of physical attraction. Does one need a friend of opposite sex to share emotional details? Why not one of your own sex? And why does one feel uncomfortable with one's spouse about this bond? All pointers go in one direction - an emotional affair may be the way one wants to begin a physical relationship with another outside marriage. Otherwise if one want to have emotional sharing, or to vent out feelings, one can easily consult a psychiatrist and tell all to feel relieved and get advice. Or one can chose a friend of the same sex.

How to avoid an emotional affair?

One who is involved in an emotional affair needs to ask ownself- is this only emotional? Why do I need this person to talk about everything? One must reflect. Talk it out with one's spouse. Let your head control your heart for a moment and think about the marriage and the bond. This may help in better understanding of the emotional affair and coming out of it.

Saying sorry after having an emotional affir is the first step. Send ecards to say Sorry and begin rebuilding your marriage.

One can not cross the boundries set for friendship. To be emotionally dependent is something different than emotional sharing.