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How To Build Lasting Relationships

By:Paul Hata

     Relationships of all kinds are often perceived as very sensitive matters that require extra effort to maintain. However, a relationship can also be something that can provide security and can also be long lasting despite many trials.

Building effective and lasting relationships is necessary for several reasons in the business world. For example in a group or organization, the well being of the people depends on how efficient and effective that group or organization works. An effective and efficient group or organization will provide a good work culture as well as productivity for the company.

The group or organization is also dependent on how the members work well with the management or administration. An ineffective group or organization can really be very frustrating. An effective group or organization can also ask so much on their members, that sometimes the members would be having no life outside the walls of the area where they work or sacrifice the other aspects of their life just to meet deadlines. For an organization or group with this kind of scenario, relationships can be stressed or suffer from breakdown.

People or other entities that depend on these groups or organization also suffer. Society is defined as a web of relationships, which requires all parties to work and contribute their share in order to achieve a common goal. Having a relationship that is good, where cooperation and respect are manifested can make society work better. In this way each member works for the good of the whole and towards achieving a common goal. This can only be attained with effective and efficient relationships.

Understanding the other parties' feelings and position creates an effective and efficient relationship. The easiest method to understand what is important to another party is to ask them what they want and listen to what they have to say. When the other party realizes this, they would feel the importance given to them. They would also feel a sense of belong in an understanding relationship.

Effective and efficient relationships require parties to express their feelings and positions openly on all matters pertinent to the relationship. Assuming that the other party understands our needs and give us what we need it without asking for it is not a good practice. We are human beings and we cannot read other people's minds. So, communicating our needs and expressing our feelings will further contribute to effective and efficient relationships.

Respect is the essential key to a successful relationship. In order to create a more effective relationship, parties should treat each other with respect. We can show respect just by listening to the other party and by trying sincerely to understand how they function. You can also show respect to other parties by confirming that they are doing everything they can.

The opposite of respect is being judgmental based on unfounded facts and prejudice. Always take time to listen and request for clarification to every situation before making a final judgment. Respect is the very foundation for a great relationship and being judgmental can jeopardize the trusting and respectful connection in a relationship. This also means respecting yourself and respecting others.

Another key area in forming an effective relationship is to tackle differences of the other party directly. Differences between parties or people are quite interesting. For example in a conversation where each party listens to the other party, you may observe that each is having two different perspectives. Be ready to accept the differences and try to make use of the different perspectives as positive compliments to the relationship.

Work towards a win-win solution for both parties. This can be done when at least one party acknowledges that the relationship is important. That party would then exert more time, effort and energy to understand the other party's needs and deal with it to get it out of the way. When faced with a contrasting opinion, find the best solution or compromise that would solve the problem without damaging either parties. Should they fail, it is comforting for that party to know that they tried.

Developing an atmosphere where the other party can express their feelings at ease by effectively listening without pre-judging. This is important if parties are to understand each other. Informal discussions are conducive for parties. They bring out issues and concerns comfortably. They also feel more relaxed making them think more clearly. When parties fail to express whatever is on their mind or their feelings, it can get in the way of building an effective relationship.

Parties should be aware that certain things exist naturally but should be controlled in any dealings in any relationship. Human nature is one of these things found in a relationship. Also include a history of stereotyping or mistrust, blaming the other person or party for a strained relationship, excluding the other party's feelings when focusing on a task, no clear and defined objectives, roles and expectations of each party in a relationship is also unclear.

Relationships are important to everyone. Addressing issues and problems right away is a must to further improve the relationship. As they say 'No man is an Island'.